Life naturally brings on some big changes and major transitions, like leaving home for the first time, getting married and having children. But there are the countless and ongoing little changes within our relationships, with family and friends, and those involving our own accomplishments. Add to that the ups and downs that occur in most employment situations over years, logistically and financially, leading to our sense of competence, confidence and sense of worth, which comes into play in all areas of our life.
At any given time, most of us are accountable to many different people, both personally and professionally. Situations occur where our various responsibilities and the different hats we wear bump up against each other and against real life constraints of time and energy. This feels frustrating and overwhelming to you and to the others affected by it.
Day to day, our responsibilities are usually packaged as expectations and requests from others; by nature some of these are informal and optional, while others are unapologetically formal and mandatory, such as those involved in business relationships. These are usually the ones that get prioritized and receive the majority of our time and attention. Unattended to, the other things within our care, pile up, usually unnoticed until something goes wrong. For most people that neglected pile contains our self-care, relationship maintenance and remembering to have fun.
As we move upward, gaining competence and increased skills, our responsibilities and expectations increase and the time we had before slowly disappears. A lucky few are able to maintain a sense of satisfaction and purpose throughout the transitions and changes that take place over time. For most, at some point it begins to feel as if we are swimming against the current, and in many cases we are. Although we recognize that we are losing traction, often we make no moves to improve, often lacking the tools to make that happen.
When we know our strengths, and are aware of our weaknesses, we can turn things around by establishing a game plan and strategies that improve what we struggle with. Having a better bag of tricks and the motivation to change what is not working develops new strengths and abilities which propel us toward positive change.
Poor coping skills can present as poor self-care, alienation from social situations, lack of achievement, poor follow through, excessive and paralyzing worry, low frustration tolerance, and punitive or self-defeating thoughts.
Individual counseling is a unique experience that allows you the opportunity to take a deeper look at yourself, your thoughts, behaviors and the subsequent outcomes. Taking the time to understand your true motivations and unhealthy lifelong patterns can be incredibly empowering. While change is inevitable, the insight and clarity gained through this process, often leads clients to substantially improved outcomes across the board.